


Double Date

by wastefulreverie



Series: PhannieMay Shots 2019 [17]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Comedy, Double Date, Drama, F/F, F/M, Funny, Humor, Identity Reveal, Romance, Welcome to Chili's, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastefulreverie/pseuds/wastefulreverie
Summary: "I'm disappointed," Dani broke the ice once they were seated at a booth. To her left was Valerie, and across her were Danny and Sam. "Nobody said 'welcome to Chili's'. I was counting on that," she complained.





	Double Date

"I already said yes though," Dani shrugged, plopping down onto the bed and kicking off her sneakers. "It's just going to be _me_ , so why are you nervous?"

Sitting crossed legged in her desk chair, Valerie fidgeted. "Well… I know that you're not that familiar with societal norms-"

"You mean I'm technically a three-year-old clone," Dani rolled her eyes. She slid her beanie lower onto her head. "But it's _just_ a date. People do it all the time!"

"That's not it, Dani," Valerie said. "When two girls date… it's different than when other people date."

"Your Dad already gave me the talk about that-"

"-No," Valerie interrupted. "I mean… what if people look at us weird? What if they talk about us? What if someone… tries to _hurt_ you? I just can't stop thinking about all these awful things." She took a shaky breath, "It may be the way my Mom raised me, but it still feels like I'm doing something _wrong_. And everyone else will _know_ that I'm doing it."

Dani raised a brow, "So you're afraid of being alone with me because people at the restaurant are going to judge you?"

"Well," Valerie blushed, holding her hands close to her chest, "when you put it like that it sounds stupid."

"Nah, you're good," Dani confirmed. "I get nervous over literally _everything_ , remember who you're talking to? Ms. Disaster Phantom-"

"You're not a disaster-" Valerie protested.

"On my first day of high school someone asked me for a pencil and I hid in the bathroom, crying invisibly because I wasn't sure if they meant a wooden or electric pencil and I only had _pens_ ," Dani deadpanned. "Nobody's more disastrous than that."

"It's not your fault you don't have experience with those things though," Valerie pointed out, "I'm just being… ridiculous."

"Well, technically you don't have experience dating someone as _awesome_ as me, so 'lack of experience' is applicable to your worries too," Dani lit her finger with a small ectoplast - like a candle - and pointed at Valerie. "You don't have to be nervous about it! But, I guess if you'd feel better we can have a double date; I can ask someone else to come along with us? That way it wouldn't just be us alone," she suggested

Valerie considered Dani's offer for a moment, "Who would you ask though?"

Dani grinned, " _Wellll_ , I have _some_ people in mind but that would ruin the surprise."

"So you're not going to tell me?" Valerie raised a brow. She playfully waved a hand towards Dani, " _Suspicious_."

"I gotta keep you on your toes," Dani giggled. "But seriously," she sobered, "if it'll make you more comfortable, I can ask someone."

"I…" Valerie was tempted to just spend the night with Dani, alone… but if Dani could invite other people to draw attention away from them then she felt like their date wouldn't be as _mortifying_. "Alright. Go ahead an invite your mystery people, _Ms. Disaster_."

"You bet on it," Dani replied, leaning in to give Valerie a hug before she phased through the wall.

When Danny's ghost sense curled up his throat, he sensed a familiar presence… it almost felt like-

"Hi, I have something to ask!"

"Danielle?" he asked. Dani Phantom phased through his bedroom wall, making the quick transition back into human form beside Danny - who was doing homework on his bed. Dani dropped in from time to time, usually helping Danny with ghost fights and generally hanging out. Most of the time, he glimpsed her at school but usually didn't interact in case someone made the connection that 'Elle Jones' and Danny Fenton were related.

Eight months ago, Dani moved in with Valerie and enrolled at Capser High as Val's 'family friend'. Danny had been shocked at first, but it turns out that sometime during Dani's travels, she started talking with Valerie again and they really hit it off. So by the time that Dani was fourteen, she moved to Amity Park permanently and about six months later (to no one's surprise - except maybe Damon Gray's) they started dating. After everything, Valerie still didn't know Danny's secret, but had stopped hunting Phantom at Dani's insistence. That didn't mean that Valerie _liked_ Phantom, per se… they were still working that out.

"Can you come on a date with Val and I tomorrow night?" she asked, slumping beside him on his bed before he could blink. The pencil for his trigonometry homework slid off of his binder and onto the floor.

He looked at her, trying to understand if he had heard correctly, "Can I _what_?"

"Valerie's nervous to go on a date alone with me since we're both girls so I told her I'd find someone to have a double date with us and by someone I meant you because I couldn't think of anyone else," she unloaded in a single breath. "So can you? I don't know what else to do if you say no."

Danny was still trying to process what she'd said. "Slow down," he advised, "It's hard to think when you're rambling," he laughed. "So you want me to tag along on a date?"

"Well, preferably you and _your_ date, not just you by yourself because that would be weird. So are you and Sam free?"

Danny scoffed, "Me and Sam? What makes you think Sam and I are together?"

Dani rolled her eyes, "Tucker told me that you guys have been secretly dating since the end of your Junior year. It's not that hard to put together, either. I don't know why you try hiding it."

"We have… _reasons_ ," Danny flustered. "Reasons that include parents and people putting together that Sam hangs around Fenton _and_ Phantom. That, and we don't really need the _attention_."

"Whatever you say," Dani smiled. " _Sooo_ yes or no? I really need it to be yes," she added.

"I uh…" Danny glanced somewhere behind Dani before turning back to his clone, "it's not up to _just_ me. I'd have to ask Sam?"

"When is she not free?" Dani crossed her arms. "Just call her right now and then it'll be settled."

"I guess…" he shrugged. Danny leaned over and picked up his phone from his nightstand. "What should I ask her, specifically?"

"I dunno, say like 'Dani wants us to go on a double date with Val…'"

Danny started typing the message, speaking as he wrote, "Dani… on a double… Val because she is _forcing_ me…"

"Yeah, _yeah_ ," Dani deadpanned. She recited the rest of the message, "'Are you free tomorrow at six at Macado's restaurant?'"

Danny started typing and frowned. "Isn't that a burger place?" he looked up. "You know she can't eat that."

Dani groaned. " _Fine_ , we'll change the restaurant. Is Chili's alright?"

Danny snorted, "Chili's? Have you been watching Vines again?"

"I've been to Chili's before," she scoffed. "Well… technically behind a Chili's." At his judgemental stare, she defended, " _You_ try being on the run and trying to subsist off of chain restaurants beside the Interstate! Anyway, I guess the food I tried there was decent enough?"

Danny had a glassy look in his eyes. "I did _not_ need to know that you've dumpster dived at Chili's, Dani," he decided.

"Sorry," she apologized. Her voice expressed little guilt.

He shook his head, ignoring what she'd said altogether. "So, I guess Chili's is alright for tomorrow night." He finished the text to Sam and hit send. "Sam'll probably get a salad or something."

"Cool," Dani nodded. "So… now that we're acknowledging your not-so-secret relationship with Sam, how many dates have you two been on?"

"None of your business," Danny set his phone to the side. "You know, you could've told me that you knew about our relationship any time in the past few months."

"Well, maybe I was waiting for you to tell me," she stuck her tongue out.

"If that's the case," Danny nudged her, "then you're too much like _Jazz_."

Dani mocked gasped, "How _dare_ you compare me to my pseudo-sister? I'm so," she leaned into Danny's lap, " _hurt_."

"Get off," he laughed, shoving Dani up.

"Stop avoiding the question then," she smirked. "How many dates have you and Sam been on?" she repeated.

Danny groaned in frustration. "Will you let that go?"

"No," her eyes betrayed green and she started pestering him. "How many? How many? How many? _How ma_ -"

"Three!" Danny interrupted. "I took her out flying a week after we started dating and we stargazed. The last day before Senior year we went to a vegan cafe and last month we went to the arcade without Tucker."

"That's not many," Dani judged. "Val and I have at least been on _two_ dates and we've been dating for half the time you and Sam have! We went flying together and then a few weeks ago we had a date in the Ghost Zone," she bragged.

"Well sorry I don't have as much time as you to be a hopeless romantic when _I'm_ the one having to ghost hunt when you and Val are spending nights in the Ghost Zone doing who knows what-"

She smacked him, "We're not _that far_ yet, pervert. We haven't even kissed yet, mind you. We've only kissed like… _once_."

"Good," Danny affirmed. "I'd kick Gray's ass if she took it too far with you."

Dani blushed. "Okay, you don't have to do _that_. Overprotective _original_. Ancients, stop trying to be my Dad."

This time, Danny blushed; perhaps brighter than Dani, "I'm not trying to-"

Thankfully, before he could finish his sentence, his phone went off. Sam had texted back - at the perfect moment too. He unlocked his phone and read the message.

"'Cool with me, but what's your excuse for how Dani and Danny Fenton know each other when _Phantom_ is supposedly her cousin?'" Danny read. "Oh shit… she's right. How are we going to explain to Valerie that we know each other? We practically ignore each other at school, so I doubt we can use that as an excuse."

"I - I don't know," Dani realized. She thought for a moment, and had a sudden epiphany. "We can use what Sam said! Valerie _does_ know that Phantom is my cousin," she repeated.

Danny raised a brow, "Yeah, and...?"

"Come on the date as Phantom instead of Fenton! Sam can still come as your date since Valerie doesn't that she's dating Fenton! It's perfect!"

Danny did a double take, "Hold up a minute," he put his hand up. "You want me to go to Chili's... _as Danny Phantom_?"

"Yeah, what's complicated about it?" she questioned.

"Uh… _everything_ ," Danny stressed. "First, why would a _ghost_ be going on a date with three other teenagers? What would people think? I'd be drawing a _lot_ of attention. What would that do to my image? What if they kick me out?"

"Well… maybe you can go in disguise? We can let Valerie know you're Phantom, but so you don't attract attention in the restaurant you can wear a fake outfit and a hat!"

"Really Dani, that sounds like it could go bad quickly."

She crossed her arms, "You've already agreed to go on the date, and so has Sam. Do you have any other ideas?"

He sighed, "Not really… no."

"Then that's it!" Dani grinned. "You're going on this double date in _disguise_! It'll be fun, so lighten up!" She stood up from his bed and promptly transformed again, getting ready to make an exit. "Anyways…" she flew towards his wall, "you're-the-best-tha _nks-a-lot-Danny_!"

He called out to her, "Dani, wai-"

She was gone before he could protest, giving him no choice about what to do for the date tomorrow.

leaving him contemplating what he should do tomorrow. Valerie still didn't like Phantom, but who knew? Maybe on their double date… he'd be able to win her over….

Even if it was the worst idea he'd ever heard.

* * *

Valerie flattened out her new maroon sweater, making sure that it didn't look rumpled. She and Dani had flown to an alley behind Chili's together and Valerie's ghost equipment gear usually left her day clothes bunched up after she retracted it back into skin. Technus's upgrades had left a… _permanent_ effect on her, but Valerie decided not to dwell on the specifics of it too much. So what? She had ghost hunting equipment that was somehow bonded to her, but compared to Dani, Valerie was practically normal. After all, Dani _was_ a half-ghost hybrid clone of Danny Phantom that Vlad Masters had grown in his lab. If either of them was the weird girlfriend, it was definitely her.

As she inspected her clothing, Valerie realized something. She had picked her outfit out before they had planned to make their date a double date, so it hadn't occurred to her until now. "I'm not underdressed, right?" Valerie poked Dani - who had just transformed into human form. "Whoever you invited, they're not going to be dressed to the nines, are they?"

Valerie had tried pestering Dani before they left for their date, but the ghost-girl was strangely stubborn and wouldn't reveal who they were going on a date with. " _It's like a blind date!_ " Dani had said. " _Except y'know, you're not dating them! They're dating each other, but-_ "

That had been the most information Valerie had attained. But, if this other couple ensured all the attention wouldn't be on her and Dani, then she was content with a little _mystery_.

At Valerie's question, Dani turned to her and snorted. "I doubt that." She ran a hand through Val's hair, "You look _beautiful_. The prettiest woman in the world couldn't outdress you."

Valerie giggled, "When did you learn how to flirt?"

"I've always known," Dani replied. "It's like making puns, but I'm just saying all the things I love about you. Does that make sense?"

"Not at all, but you don't have to make sense for me," Valerie leaned forward and gave Dani a quick peck on the cheek.

"You're sweet," Dani decided. "I might have to get you back for that one later."

"Oh yeah?" Valerie asked. "I'll look forward for it."

Dani smirked, "Oh, I doubt you'll _see_ me coming." She blinked out of sight for a moment before reappearing.

"I think you underestimate my skills, ghost girl." Valerie allowed just her suit's visor to materialize, which allowed her to see invisible ghosts. When Dani got the point, Valerie smugly allowed the visor to melt back into her body.

"Oh, it's _on_ ," Dani laughed.

"So where are we meeting these people?" In Chili's or-"

"Oh, I just told them to swing by here since that's easiest," Dani gestured to the alley around them.

Valerie raised a brow, "You asked some people to casually meet us in an _alley_?"

She fell silent, "You'll understand when they get here."

"Well, that isn't _absolutely_ cryptic," Valerie remarked dryly.

"It's true!" Dani protested, "It'll make more sense… _any_ second now."

Valerie crossed her arms, "I get why we landed in the alley since we had to land somewhere discreet, but why would it make sense for-" she cut herself off when she noticed the plume of blue vapor from Dani's breath. Valerie expected her ghost equipment to go off with Dani's ghost sense, but it never did. That was odd, because there were only two ghosts that didn't activate her sensors… Dani, because Valerie had programmed her sensors to ignore her; and the one ghost that shared Dani's ectosignature-

"Hey, Dani! Not late, are we?"

Valerie's jaw almost dropped. _Phantom_.

He shimmered into sight beside Dani, wearing a black NASA hoodie over his regular costume and a plain, blue, baseball cap to obscure his luminescent hair. Beside him, on his arm was a familiar figure that Valerie never expected to find with someone like Phantom. Sam Manson was grinning ear to ear, donning a purple and black jacket with black, ripped, skinny jeans. They looked like such a natural couple, but they couldn't be - Valerie wasn't stupid.

According to Tucker Foley, Sam had been dating Danny Fenton since the end of Junior year. Tucker had told Valerie in confidence that the news wouldn't spread around school and had kept it to herself since then. Yet, here Sam was - leaning into Phantom's embrace with unbridled infatuation. Valerie was absolutely disgusted at how easily Sam could just _betray_ poor Danny Fenton for someone as awful as Phantom; if she knew anything, it was that Danny was head over heels for Sam. This act of cheating would break his heart.

"Nah, you're on time," Dani affirmed, nudging her cousin in the rib. "Hi Sam!"

Sam smiled, genuinely. "Hey Elle, you look nice tonight." Sam's gaze flitted to Valerie for a moment, ignoring Valerie's awestruck expression. "You too, Valerie."

Phantom seemed to regard Valerie for the first time since he had appeared. He looked panicked for a moment but that flicker of fear was obscured by his mask of bravado. "Hi, Val. I uh, know we're not on the best terms but Dani figured she'd ask me to come. Sorry if this is a bit of a surprise, I promise I'll keep it lowkey tonight!"

Valerie couldn't decide who she wanted to sock in the teeth more; Phantom or Sam. She couldn't believe that Phantom had the audacity to act like they were _normal_ acquaintances. Sure, Dani had convinced Valerie to stop hunting Phantom, but their issues weren't resolved enough for them to go on a double date together! As far as Valerie was concerned, he was still the menace that had ( _yes, inadvertently_ ) wrecked her life with that ghost dog!

Even though she knew more about the story, it didn't change the past; it didn't absolve her grudge for Phantom, because he hurt her in more ways than just letting that ghost run rampant. He had fueled her obsession for years, given her bad press, and flaked on their temporary alliances! He was the catalyst to her suffering, indirectly or not, she couldn't mentally get over that. Not to mention, he wasn't even the sort of person Valerie could get along with, even if she was dating his female clone.

Therefore, _Danny_ Phantom was not someone she was comfortable with right now. However, Dani had asked he and Sam to come on their date, so Valerie had to go along with this - even though she _fucking_ hated it.

So, Valerie swallowed the lump in her throat, "I'll try to hold off shooting you for one night." In return, she was met with three blank stares.

Dani coughed, "Funny _joke_ , huh Val?"

Valerie nodded. "Yeah, a _joke_."

There was silence in the alley, save for the soft crinkling of a nearby receipt blowing across the ground. Above them, warm colors slid across the sky, languidly painting a picturesque atmosphere that contrasted their group's uneasiness. The sun was positioned just above the horizon, leaving pink embers in its wake; that was Dani. Softly yet brazenly acting as the spearhead for the rest of the sky, their group, influencing how each color ran across the horizon.

"So," she clapped, "whaddya say we go get a table?"

"Good idea," Phantom, Sam, and Valerie nodded simultaneously.

* * *

"I'm disappointed," Dani broke the ice once they were seated at a booth. "Nobody said 'welcome to Chili's'. I was _counting_ on that," she complained.

Sam snorted. "I suppose that was a let down." She nudged Phantom, "You got anything to add, hopeless meme man?"

"I think Dani summed up my sorrows," he remarked. Now that they were actually in the restaurant, Phantom had lowered his baseball cap lower onto his head to more adequately disguise himself. He'd also managed to dim his glow well enough that the waiter didn't even suspect that he was a ghost, or if the waiter did notice he didn't comment on it. Regardless, what mattered was that Phantom was passing and no one was looking at them weird.

"You've watched Vines, Phantom?" Valerie asked. She'd shown Dani quite a few compilations on her phone, but she never fathomed that Phantom would get any references, given that he was a _ghost_ and all. Somehow the idea that Amity Park's resident ghost hunter watched Internet videos was both comical and unsettling.

"Oh, yeah," he confirmed. He eyed Dani, who was fidgeting with her silverware. For a moment, they made eye contact and Phantom smirked, " _What do you have_?"

Not missing a beat, Dani subtly phased the silverware out of its napkin. " _A knife!_ " she declared.

" _Nooooo_ ," Phantom finished, prompting Sam to facepalm.

He and Dani were so attuned to each other that it was almost scary. "That was _so_ bad," Valerie muttered.

"That's not even the worst of it," Sam groaned. "He also has a Tik Tok account," she revealed.

" _Saaam_ ," he protested, placing a gloved finger over her lips. "Why'd you have to-"

"How come _I_ didn't know this?" Dani turned on Phantom, accusingly. His eyes widened, and if you focused enough, you could see his entire body blip invisibly for a moment.

"It uh… hadn't come up?" he replied sheepishly.

Dani crossed her arms, " _Bull_ shit."

Before Danny could say any more, their waiter returned with drinks and took their orders. Danny took it as a cue to change the conversation. "So uh… are we doing a split bill, or…?"

"I could pay for all of us," Sam offered. "Don't worry about it, Val," she assured. "My parents having nothing better to do with their excessive fortune, except maybe give it to charity but apparently they're too 'cautious' to give money away to strangers. _Jackasses_."

"Your family has money?" Valerie realized. Sam didn't act the part of a rich girl; she would know, since she used to _be_ one. Suddenly, Valerie had a second realization. It was a long shot, but was it possible that Sam's money was part of the reason Phantom had developed an interest in Sam?

 _No_ , no that couldn't be the case because otherwise he would've already fallen for Paulina. That meant that Phantom was probably attracted to Sam's edgy, goth persona. _The ghost and the goth_ , geez it was almost like a stereotype. It disgusted her, how easily Sam had led Phantom on even though she was with Danny. Valerie had decided she wouldn't speak on it tonight, but she was _definitely_ texting Danny when the night was over. She couldn't betray her friend like that by keeping this knowledge to herself.

"Yeah," Sam took a sip of her iced tea. "Don't spread that around or I'll end you, though. I don't need that sort of attention, or any really."

What a fucking hypocrite. ' _I don't need any attention_ ', yet here she was cheating on her boyfriend with _Phantom_ of all people. Valerie bit her tongue, "Got it. So…" she treated carefully, "how do you and Phantom know each other?"

She could tell instantly that they had been hoping she wouldn't ask. Both Phantom and Sam (and… _Dani_ too?) tensed. However, before Sam could answer, Phantom took control of the conversation, "She's sort of helped me with ghost hunting for a while, on the down low."

"And now you guys are a thing?" Valerie concluded. Dani silently took Valerie's hand and firmly squeezed it under the table, not letting go.

"More or less," he shrugged. "It's been official for about... four months now?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "That sounds right."

Something in Valerie _snapped_. Tucker had told her about Danny and Sam four months ago - Sam really _was_ dating them both at the same time. Even though she had told herself she wouldn't speak on it, Valerie couldn't resist. "Oh, really?" she asked. "That's nice. Funny, Manson. I thought you'd always had a thing for Fenton, but I guess you _got over that_ , haven't you?"

At her words, Valerie felt Dani's hand vaporize in her grip. She'd startled Dani with that accusation, making her hand go intangible. Phantom and Sam didn't look any better. In fact, Phantom's baseball cap nearly fell off of his head and he struggled to keep his hair hidden. She'd known that Sam knew she was cheating on Danny, but from Phantom and Dani's reactions… it seemed like they also knew about her dirty two-timing act.

If Dani knew that Sam was cheating on her boyfriend, then why would she enable this relationship? Hell, why would she allow this date? In fact, Valerie returned to her initial question that she had disregarded in the alley out of circumstance; why had Dani invited Phantom in the first place when she _knew_ Valerie didn't like him!? She was equally angry at all three of them now.

She was mad at Dani for having the balls to invite someone she knew Valerie hated and his 'girlfriend' who she knew was dating one of Valerie's close friends. Well, not that Dani knew that Valerie was friends with Danny Fenton since it'd never come up, but still! Secondly, she was pissed at Phantom's general presence; even though Dani had invited him, he had agreed to come on a date with his ex-enemy. That, and he knowingly brough Sam as his date even though he knew she was cheating on her boyfriend! Knowing Phantom's cocky charm, he had most likely seduced Sam in the first place. That aside, Valerie held Sam just as guilty for cheating. For _toying_ with Danny Fenton's heart, that _slut_!

"Danny and I are just friends," Sam addressed calmly. "Maybe in the past we were interested in each other, but he knows I'm with Phantom."

Phantom nodded, lying through his teeth, "Fenton and I are chill with each other."

Dani looked between them nervously. "What he said," she told Valerie.

She'd never seen more of an _obvious_ coverup. It was infuriating, and Valerie was at her limit now. The fact that they were continuing to lie, even Dani for some reason! Why was Dani permitting this cheating act to go on? Did Dani not _trust_ Valerie to tell her the truth? Valerie glared at her girlfriend. Forget people judging her, she should've _never_ agreed to this awful double date idea!

"You three are bad liars," Valerie narrowed her eyes. "Dani, why are you on board with this?"

"On board with what?" Dani asked, her voice tight. _What the fu-_

"-she's cheating on her boyfriend!" Valerie exploded, gesturing to Sam.

At her outburst, other patrons of Chili's turn to see the commotion. Additionally, a few feet away was their waiter carrying a platter with their food. Once she realized how many people were looking at them, Valerie subconsciously shrunk down further into her seat. Phantom did the same, hoping that nobody would recognize him. Sam, on the other hand was dumbfounded. Her mouth was agape and she looked like she couldn't decide whether to melt into the booth like Phantom or propel herself over the table to take a swing at Valerie. Meanwhile, Dani was watching the entire ordeal and swearing under breath.

Ignoring the drama, their waiter approached their table professionally. "Who had the Ranchero Chicken Tacos?"

As if a spell had been lifted, Phantom straightened his posture and turned to the waiter. "That was me."

They sat in silent as their food was placed in front of them. Phantom and Dani, like-minded cowards, quickly began digging into their food as if to ignore the conversation. _Great_ … Dani had been more than willing to act as mediator earlier, but now she was ignoring what Valerie had said to preserve the peace. Even though it _needed_ to be addressed. Valerie completely avoided eating, awkwardly watching as Sam took cautious stabs at her salad. Finally, Sam got bored of deflecting Valerie's judgemental gaze and pushed her plate to the side.

"What?" she asked. " _What_ do you want me to say?"

Valerie narrowed her eyes, "So you admit it, that you're cheating on Danny with Phantom?"

Beside her, Dani audibly groaned in frustration. "Val-"

"He's my _friend_! Hell, he's your boyfriend! He's in love with you! Why are you okay with doing this to him? How are you _all_ content with just ignoring this!" she accused.

"Because…" Phantom started, "... I got nothing _."_

Valerie wadded up her napkin and threw it at him. "You're a jackass, for dating a girl when you know she has a boyfriend! That, and you're just a jackass in general - I don't care that the dog wasn't yours, you enabled me - even if indirectly - to do all those things I did. And you," she turned on Sam, who regarded her neutrally, "You're no better than all the girls you spit on. Just a filthy, rich, lying _slut._ And Dani," she added, fierce yet delicately, "I forgive you, but I don't understand why you're standing with _them_."

Dani started, "It's not what you think-"

"I don't care right now," she hissed. Valerie swiftly reached for her purse and left her untouched hamburger on the table. She stood up from the booth and glared at them again. "You've lost your chance to come clean, because I'm telling Danny, right now." She flashed her cellphone at them before shoving it in her pocket and exiting the dining area.

Unexpectedly, no one pursed her. _Good,_ she didn't want them to. Because they were all _cowards. And liars. Cheaters. Manipulators._ Negative thoughts rattled in her brain, leading her towards her destination. Valerie pushed through the double doors of Chili's and soon found herself back where the night had first gone wrong: the alley. Finally in isolation, Valerie pulled her phone back out of her pocket and started to sift through her contacts, searching for one _Danny Fenton_. He needed to know. She couldn't - _couldn't_ be quiet about this. If she was angry, then he would be so, so much worse….

Just as she found it, 'Danny Fenton's Cell - XXX-XXXX', a voice punctured her short victory. "Valerie," Dani materialized in the alley, phasing through Chili's wall, "I swear, we kept quiet for a good reason."

"Nothing warrants helping a _cheater_ ," she responded, backing away from Dani. Dani respected Valerie's distance and stayed where she stood.

"It's complicated, you see… Sam isn't _really_ cheating."

"Oh really?" Valerie placed a hand on her hip, disregarding how close her arm came to the dumpster, "Then what's your explanation."

Dani shifted awkwardly. "I'll… I'll let him explain," she said meekly. And beside her, Phantom popped into sight, amrs loosely at his side. Somewhere between the restaurant and the alley, he had accidently shed his baseball cap when he went intangible. He seemed to deliberately show that he was unarmed, as if he was still worried Valerie would hurt him. In her current mood, it was a smart precaution.

"I know you're upset, but this all has a logical explanation," he assured.

She raised a brow, gesturing with her phone. "Yeah?"

"Sam, Danny, and I… we have an arrangement? You've heard of those relationships where you can have multiple partners, right? Well, uh, that's our agreement?"

He sounded uncertain and uncomfortable. He'd clearly devised that idea on the spot, a last resort - one last example. She wondered why he seemed so scared. Maybe because he knew that Danny would be angry, heartbroken, torn. And when Danny was upset… his ghost hunting parents could easily attempt to decimate Phantom. Well, seriously attempt. These days, Jack and Maddie spent most of their time trying to rid the town of other ghostly threats, but if Danny was mad at Phantom, there was no doubt that he could convince them to reorient their target.

Valerie shook her head. "You really _are_ a bad liar. Not to mention, Danny's a one partner kind of guy; polygamy is _not_ something he would condone."

"Hear me out though-!" he pled.

 _He'd had his chance_. With a sense of finality, Valerie pushed the call button for Danny Fenton.

When Dani realized what Valerie had done, she inserted herself in front of her girl friend, flying forward at a startling speed. "Wait!" she cried, trying to steal Valerie's phone. But Valerie didn't let Dani get it, she summoned her armor and used the force of her transformation to push Dani back. The two ghosts fumbled with panic as they realized that nothing more could be done.

And within six seconds, a rhythmic ringtone resounded throughout the alley. It wasn't from Valerie's phone, but instead, it was from Phantom's direction. A song played, a familiar song; "Californication" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. She knew that song well, in fact… back in Freshman year, that's the ringtone that Danny Fenton had said he'd set for her….

What?

Why was Danny's phone in the alley? Why was his phone near Phantom? Did Phantom have Danny's phone? Why would _Phantom_ have Danny's phone? That didn't make sense, unless Danny gave Phantom his phone? Why would he do that, though? Who just… _lends_ their phone to a _ghost_ before a date? Had Phantom stolen Danny's phone? That didn't entirely make sense either…. Maybe it was Phantom's own cellphone that was constantly ringing at the same time Valerie was calling Danny Fenton? No, that was too ridiculous; it was _definitely_ Danny Fenton's phone.

She stared at him blankly, trying to piece the puzzle together. None of it made _any_ sense! Why did Danny _freaking_ Phantom have Danny Fent-

Oh.

 _Oh no_.

 _Shit_ , this was _way_ too obvious.

Dani was Phantom's clone. She was half-human. In her ghost form, she had white hair and green eyes and in human form she had black hair and blue eyes. Phantom was a ghost who had white hair and green eyes. Supposedly, since he was Dani's original - wouldn't he also be half-ghost? And if he had a human form… that human form would have scruffy black hair and dizzying blue eyes.

_Just like Danny Fenton._

Danny Phantom and Danny Fenton had the same cellphone. They had the same girlfriend. And their appearances were parallel to Dani's two halves. Because they were the _same person._

And now, with that single revelation, everything felt dizzy.

Phantom - _Danny_ hesitantly reached for his cellphone. On the screen, she caught a glimpse the caller description: 'Val/Red/Whatever Lol - XXX-XXXX'. He jammed the off button and shoved it back in his hoodie's front pocket. "Val-"

"You're _him_ ," she put it together. "And - and you've _always_ been. And you all have always known, haven't you?"

He looked scared, broken, and guilty before averting his gaze to the grimy floor of the alley. He shifted his boots around and murmured, "Pretty much, yeah."

"And Sam's not cheating because you're the same person?"

"That too," he confirmed.

She fell silent. "Was this worth keeping from me?"

He finally looked up, earnestly. "Probably not," he admitted.

And with that, a halo of white light encircled his waist. It was something Valerie had seen many times, yet it was still unfamiliar. She was used to Dani's flair for transforming, but seeing Phantom perform it too… was uncanny on all sorts of levels. When the ring traveled across his body, it didn't change his hoodie, but touched about everything else; his HAZMAT suit became jeans, his boots became sneakers, his eyes faded into blue, and his hair darkened with signature black. Danny Phantom changed into Danny Fenton, but didn't change at all.

Valerie was awestruck, " _Woah_."

"Well," Dani remarked, floating up to ruffle Danny's now black hair, "that's _one_ way to end a date."

 _Indeed_ , Valerie agreed.


End file.
